Self-care
Self-care often sounds like a luxury that you indulge in when everything else is taken care of – but that is precisely the error in thinking. It’s the basis for a life that feels good. Not perfect, not instagrammable, but real. In the midst of deadlines, commitments and to-do lists, it’s about pausing regularly and asking yourself: ‘What do I really need right now?’
You may think that self-care requires time or big changes. But that’s not true. It’s often the little things that make the difference: a conscious breath, a short break or a clear ‘no’ when everything gets too much. In this article, you will learn how you can integrate self-care into your everyday life – without pressure and in a way that feels easy and doable.
What self-care really means – and what it doesn’t
Does the term self-care make you think of bubble baths or yoga? Sure, that’s good too – but it goes deeper. It’s the art of taking your emotional, physical and mental needs seriously, even when the world is rushing around you. The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines it as ‘the ability to actively promote one’s own health’ – and it starts small.
Think of self-care as your personal emotional compass: it helps you to feel what you need at any given time – and to act accordingly. This can mean:
- No to the third work project, yes to a walk in the park
- Stop scrolling through social media, start reading a novel on the sofa
- Take a break from perfectionism, play while laughing with friends
That may not always sound easy. But if your best friend was caught up in the stress of everyday life – what advice would you give her? Probably something like: ‘Give yourself a break’ or ‘The housework can wait until tomorrow.’ So why not do the same with yourself? This little mental exercise will help you take the pressure off and remind you that you deserve just as much care and compassion as anyone else.
Self-care and the psychology behind it – and why we often sabotage ourselves
Many people think that self-care is selfish – but the opposite is true. If you constantly put yourself last, this can lead to exhaustion, chronic stress or even burnout in the long term. Our brain doesn’t make it easy for us. It is trained to fulfil expectations – whether at work, in the family or with friends. Psychologists call this the ‘altruism trap’: we sacrifice our own needs in order to please others. In evolutionary terms, this made sense – today it leads to constant stress.
This is where self-care comes in: It helps you to set boundaries and identify energy robbers. Instead of ‘I have to function’, ask yourself: ‘What would do me good right now?’ This change of perspective activates the prefrontal cortex – the area of the brain responsible for rational thinking.
The 5 levels of self-care – learning, understanding and implementing self-care
Self-care is more than a trend – it is a holistic approach based on five levels. Each of these levels helps you to feel physically, emotionally and mentally balanced. Here’s an overview with some practical self-care examples and tips:
| Level | What it means | How you can strengthen it |
| Physical level | Everything that helps your body stay healthy: Nutrition, exercise, sleep and touch. | Walks, healthy and conscious meals, a regular sleep rhythm or a relaxing bubble bath for the feet. |
| Emotional level | Recognising and reflecting on your feelings – what do you need to feel good emotionally? | Journaling, meditation, recognising negative beliefs and replacing them with positive self-talk. |
| Social level | Maintaining relationships and keeping an eye on your own ‘social battery’ – when is contact good for you? | A get-together with friends, long hugs or consciously spending time alone when you feel like it. |
| Mental level | Challenge and encourage your mind – through creativity, learning or conscious breaks. | Trying out a new recipe, reading a book, painting or simply doing nothing and letting your thoughts run free. |
| Spiritual level | Feeling connected to something bigger and finding meaning in life – different for everyone. | Spend time in nature, cultivate gratitude rituals or have deep conversations about values and goals. |
The 5 levels of self-care show how versatile you can take care of yourself – physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually. But all these levels have one thing in common: they have a direct effect on your nervous system. Your autonomic nervous system decides whether you are in stress mode (sympathetic nervous system) or relaxation mode (parasympathetic nervous system). Small rituals can help to activate the parasympathetic nervous system – your body’s ‘relaxation centre’ – and lower stress hormones such as cortisol.
Deep breathing, gentle touch or heat sources such as an heat blanket send your body the signal: ‘Everything is safe.’ An aroma diffuser with calming scents such as lavender or a massage cushion can also reinforce these relaxation reactions. By incorporating such self-care moments into your everyday life, you not only strengthen your inner calm, but also your resilience – and rebalance your nervous system.
Emergency self-care: the 4-7-8 breathing technique 😮💨⏳🧘♀️
The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a simple method for quickly calming your nervous system. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system – your body’s ‘relaxation centre’ – and helps to lower stress hormones such as cortisol. Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds and then exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds. This technique slows the heartbeat, lowers blood pressure and relaxes the muscles – perfect for moments of acute stress or to help you fall asleep.
Self-care vs. self-optimisation – why your feel-good mode is not a to-do list
Self-care is in fashion – but there is a world of difference between genuine care and toxic self-optimisation. While self-care focuses on your well-being, self-optimisation is aimed at performance. The difference?
Self-optimisation says:
- ‘You have to train five times a week, otherwise you’re not good enough.’
- ‘Post your perfect morning routine on Instagram, otherwise it won’t look authentic.’
- ‘Read this book to become more productive – regardless of whether you enjoy it.’
Genuine self-care asks:
- ‘What exercise is good for my body today?’
- ‘What do I need to start the day relaxed in the morning – even without photos?’
- ‘Which book would make me really happy right now?’
Self-care focuses on your well-being – not on external expectations. It means prioritising your needs without feeling guilty. An example from research: people who see self-care as a ‘duty’ (e.g. ‘I have to meditate’) often find it stressful. Those who see it as a free choice, on the other hand, benefit in the long term.
Self-care is not a project – it’s a conversation with yourself
It’s not about doing everything perfectly or being productive all the time. It’s about giving yourself space. Start where you are: with a cup of tea that you consciously sip. With a ‘no’ that takes the pressure off you. With the courage to take your needs seriously. There is no self-care plan that you have to follow, just an invitation to keep checking in with yourself. Because at the end of the day, you are the most important person in your life – and it’s worth taking good care of yourself.
